My Heart Aches For You

Association of 5 years with you and you became an extension of my family. I could not even phantom being with any other person than you during the time of need. You had given me which all other had refused to even consider, my first child.

While I was unable to hold my first child and had a very difficult pregnancy the second one seemed to feel too cozy in the air-conditioned room which he did not have to share with anybody else. Yes I am speaking of womb which he simply did not want to leave. 

Pregnancy got extended by 15 days curtsey the unwillingness of my baby to venture into new world. Doctors were eager to get the baby out in our world from his protected cocoon. But then what luck! You had to attend a religious function the night they decided to force my baby to see the world outside. I, who was liked by the doctors as a wonderful patient, became adamant and said no to be as much as touched by any other doctor than you. 

What a pain in the neck you are you said in mock anger. If I die just now you will not deliver the baby? 

The answer was an emphatic no. No not in your absence and that also when my baby also says so, I said with a grin. 

You always had patient’s welfare in heart. For you, your profession was your religion, patients God and their welfare worship. Rest of the doctors suggested caesarian delivery but you did not agree and instead of injecting me with hormones for initiating the pains you sat quietly next to me saying your prayers and mockingly cursing me for making you miss the function. 

0200hrs. pain started and 0230hrs. I delivered a healthy son. All credit goes to your prayers, dedication and patience. 

You laughed and said ‘Thank God I was sitting here, else the Son would not have risen, because this stupid mother would have forced him to remain in darkness for God knows how long’.

You are God mother of my both Kids.

You were old but energetic.Your smile was infectious. Like a fresh breeze of air you would enter into patient’s room and put your magic wand (hand) on them. You were God’s incarnation for them.

Your death came as a blow to me. I could not bear to be in the same hospital without you, so changed my hospital. God bless your soul.

 I have an equally dedicated, loving and expert gynecologist Dr. Anuradha Wakankar. But nobody can take your place in my heart. 

You brought joy in my life and I know where ever you are now you must be doing the same for people around you.

I salute you Dr. (Mrs.) Mehta and miss you a lot.

The Night I became Young Again

What would have I not given to turn the wheel of time by 30 years, amend the mistake of sacrificing my career, so that I would have been me, not daughter, wife, mother of so and so. Time has changed me so much that from being a jovial friendly person I had turned to a loner and recluse. What I used to see in the mirror was not what had visualized for myself when I was young.

My daughters and son were the pillars of my strength, but it was my daughter in-law who pushed me, cajoled me, tutored me and believe me scolded me (The youngsters of now a days , some would say), so that I do not retract to my dark lonely shell and brood over that what I cannot change. It was this time that I took to blogging.

It did bring great change in my attitude. From time pass, blogging became a full time job for me. People started recognizing me as Jyotsna. To some extent I regained my lost identity. I had my own group of fans and followers and friends. Change had set in my lonely world, yet for me things were not the same. So when my daughter in-law told me her friends were my blog fans and wanted to come home, I became jittery and had apprehension; I was totally out of touch of outside world.

Somehow I did make food which I presumed they would love and waited with baited breath. Will they like being with me? Will they like my appearance? Will they like to be with an old lady of fifty eight years? I had already started feeling eighty five rather than fifty eight.

One by one they trooped in, some alone some in pairs. A broad smile on their face, chocolate and flowers in their hands they were coming straight from their work place. The flowers were as bright and beautiful as they themselves. They spoke a language that was respectful yet very friendly and by the time I realized we were busy chatting. They had become my friends. My daughter in-law was left to do the look after my friends.

People say oh! the youngsters of now a days! They are brash, disrespectful, selfish and what not. I say we require understanding them and changing our outlook with time. Stagnation is breeds moss making the ground slippery.

 My friends were a group of bubbly, intelligent, knowledgeable nature enthusiast. Time passed so quickly that I did not realize that my daughter in-law had already laid the table.

Colorful food on the table had made the table look very inviting. Our friends did full justice to the love and hard work whit which I had cooked the food. The surprise and appreciation in their eyes was the reward. Photography done they had their fill, joked and laughed with us. I regained my lost self that night. I became young jovial self in their company. They had polished off thirty years from the age of a grandmother of two months old grandson. For me that was the best New year gift of 2013.

Thanks a lot my young friends for the lovely gift you all had given me. Thanks for reminding me that monuments are also worth visiting as ruined and weather beaten they may be.