Long back, almost 25 yrs back I saw the movie 'Finding Nemo'. The words said by Dory a blue tang fish to Nemo 'Keep swimming', and their repetition by Nemo to Marlin like a mantra, kept on resurfacing in my mind during my remission period. What profound effect these two simple words of a movie watched almost 25 yrs ago had on me mentally is beyond discription and expression.
These words propelled me through a sea of pain and discomfort, like they propelled Nemo and Marlin against the tide.
1st July was the anniversary of my surgery.
Navigating through post surgery was comparatively easier than post radiation.
What was most challenging is eating. Meal time were most painful.
The words 'Keep swimming' used to ring in my ears. I used to wonder why? What game my mind is playing with me? But these words surely made me push myself to do what I found difficult, painful, and tiring.
I used to tell myself "if a tiny little fish can swim in huge expanse of sea full of predators, why can't I navigate myself through this sea of pain, discomfort and apprehensions", (I would be lying if I said I had never doubted myself or not had any apprehensions).
There are no short cuts towards regaining lost health. It is an ongoing process where a healthy lifestyle is followed diligently. That does not mean forgoing pleasures and enjoyment of life.
Persue your hobby, go out with family and friends, catchup on all those TV programs you missed, gardening etc. What ever makes you happy do it. Happy mind leads to healthy body.
Even after cutting the Ts and dotting the I ('s) of healthy life, one is not sure when destiny decides to throw a curved ball on you. Let the curved ball strike, as there is no other option, but to take it on one's stride and deal with it with all might is in our power. Only those who try win, "I cannot do" only cowards and losers say.
Apart from reading, writing, gardening I even went for a ride on Harley Davidson with my son-in-law. It was my dream to go for a ride on Harley Davidson, my son in law full filled my dream. I was thrilled. God bless him.
Every visit to doctor Dhar lifted my spirits. No words were sweeter than "All is well. Your progress is on expected line".
But life is not that easy, one is challenged each day. Disfigurement of face is one gets used to. But what happens after radiation of jaw and neck doesn't make life easy.
It takes lots of patience and will power, so do not give up. Each day is an upward journey, even if it takes one year or more eventually life will be back to normal. OK almost normal ๐. Radiation side effects take time to wear off.
Few things will remain accept them as New Normal.
Loss of weight is inevitable. Due to ulcer on tongue, cheek lips or in short in whole mouth eating becomes difficult so intake of food reduces.
One can opt for Ryle tube (i did not opt for it even during worst phase of radiation) which can solve the problem to some extent but some weight loss does occur which is basically muscle loss. Trying to take balanced diet is necessary.
I lost 4 kg after surgery and another 4 kg during and 2kg after radiation. Do not expect that this loss of weight can be recovered in a month or two. It is a long drawn process. Because what one eats (which is basically lesser than the required amount), gets consumed in repair of the wear and tear the body has gone through. What is must is to maintain good energy level by consuming diet comprising of more proteins enough amount of healthy fats, fruits and cereals.
For vegetarians or vegans plant based protein are the only option, so the diet should be enhanced by taking protein powder in milk or water. Doctors are best person to advice which one.
Since I am a non-vegetarian I could take eggs. Two eggs a day, broth of pulses and lentils, nuts, dairy products provided enough protein, fats etc.
Though my taste and smelling power had bounced off to south after radiation, yet I could not take anything with chicken, mutton or fish. Developed strong aversion towards non vegetarian food. One of the many quirk which happened to me after radiation. It may or may not happen to everyone undergoing or undergone radiation, but if it happens do not be scared it wears off slowly. Many likes dislikes, longing or aversion will keep on appearing and disappearing.
Due to ulcers it was liquid or semisolid diet in initial 5 months . So no chewing done for almost 4-5 months. Relearning how to chew had to be done.
Radiation caused fibrosis in cheek muscles, so the alignment of Jaws also decided to venture south, this along with loss of chewing practice for almost 5 months made chewing difficult.
Radiation of neck and jaw caused the salivary gland to dry up completely so I had no saliva and mastication also stopped taking place. No saliva, no mastication.
Each morsel was a baby steps taken towards relearning chewing and swallowing with the help of liquid (soup /butter milk), I avoided coffee with food as it inhibits absorption of iron and other minerals.
Nemo the vibrantly colored small fish kept on nagging me 'Come on you can do it'. The image of Nemo swimming away from captures to his father used to make me smile.
I used to tell myself come on you can chew. Just keep trying.
My efforts (though sloppy, painful, dribbly) paid me hugely and by April end 7.5 months after radiation I was eating my full meal with almost any vegetable, pulses, lentils, Legumes, curd, chapati and rice. By May month I was able to eat prawns and some chicken. Though yet the revulsion towards nonveg food is persisting.
Digestion becomes weaker, as due to lack of mastication the initial step of digestion does not take place, also it seems my gut bacteria also went on vacation. My physician Dr. Kshirsagar prescribed some pro - pre biotic and it helped a lot.
By April I had finished with my visit to Dr. Prabhune, Dr. Mansi and my first quarterly visit to Dr. Dhar. "All clear " these magical words rang like a, swan song in my ear.
Tagged as most complying patient by Dr. Prabhune and Dr. Dhar was another victory for my resilient self.
1st July 2025 was the anniversary of my surgery. Now my mouth opens without pain almost 90 % of original opening. I can eat anything I want. The super sensitiveness towards spices has come down to just sensitive. Meaning I eat mildly Spiced food.
Small things like eating long grained rice, noodles which was not possible earlier (used to get stuck in throat) can be eaten with some effort.
Pleasure I get in these small things which I had taken for granted earlier,is immense.
I got a good surgery anniversary gift from Dr. Dhar! I am free of cancer. By God's grace All is well.
Indeed God is great so are my doctors.
Some scary moment do keep on occurring. Sudden swelling of right cheek, bad infection of gastroenteritis, teeth becoming sensitive etc.With medical intervention all is taken care of easily.
Since saliva is yet not there. Little slimy excretion have started from salivary glands. Saliva maintains Ph of mouth to alkaline, but in it's absence mouth tends to become acidic, so oral hygiene, rinsing mouth with saline water is a must.
Radiation causes gums to receded, exposing tooth root, the structure and properties of enamel and dentin causes tooth decay /exposure of inner part of tooth. So regular visits (at least every six months) is must. My dentist has fixed my problems perfectly. Suggested special tooth paste, saline water rinsing of mouth after meals.
Nothing would have been possible but for my super supportive family, Great doctors who are amazing human being also, and all loving, caring friends.
My three grandchildren are Becon Of My Life.
Almighty has been extremely kind to me.
เคเคฐ्เคฎเคฃ्เคฏेเคตाเคงिเคाเคฐเคธ्เคคे เคฎा เคซเคฒेเคทु เคจเคฎเคธ्เคคे ।
